


More Than You Know

by Procrastinating_Motivation



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 04:33:38
Rating: General AudiencesNot Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9802787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Procrastinating_Motivation/pseuds/Procrastinating_Motivation
Summary: Lukas is smart enough to know holding on to his crush on Berwald is pointless, but he's still stupid enough to hope something will change.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first story on here, and I had to make it about SuNor. They don't have enough love!

“He’s never going to love you like I do.”

Mathias’ text taunts him, reminding Lukas that he could never be wanted by the same person he longed for. That he could easily trade away this heartache. Yet here he was, waiting for an impossible dream to come true. 

“You’ll only get hurt more the longer you hold onto him, so what’s the point?”

Lukas closes his eyes. Emil’s text burns into his mind. He opens them again and looks at the phone in his hand. The cold, harsh truth stares at him relentlessly in the form of a grey text bubble. Frustrated, he throws the device and lands it on the adjacent couch, near his cat Fefe. She stares at him in annoyance before returning to her nap. He sighs and despondently looks out the window, watching the snow fall softly.

Of course Lukas knew that. It’s not like Berwald had been secretive with his crush on Tino for the past several years. And it’s not like Mathias hasn’t been doing the same with Lukas. It was a rather frequent occurrence within their group. Berwald and Mathias would make a subtle hint and Tino and Lukas would reject them, in various degrees of grace. All the while Lukas waited. Waited for a change, a chance. A pathetic hope that maybe just this once it would play out differently. Foolishly dreaming up a scenario where Berwald would reach out to him, icy fingertips clinging onto him and begging him to stay; and in the heat of the moment where all common sense was lost, Lukas could finally admit his love with no shame and kiss him.

“Who am I kidding,” Lukas groaned, shaking his head. He covered his blushing face with his hands, hiding his embarrassment from the daydream he conjured up. His little brother was right of course. There was no point in holding on to an unrequited love. And it’s not like Mathias was wrong either. There was no doubt Mathias wouldn’t care for him and Lukas feels the same, but in their past relationship he couldn’t bring himself to love the Dane in the romantic sense. Besides, Mathias was too excitable and Lukas was too broody. A lasting friendship could work out for sure. But a long term romance? It tired Lukas out just thinking about it.

_Ding dong_

His thoughts were interrupted, much to his dislike. Sometimes a man wants to get lost in their thoughts and underlying self pity. Lukas stared at the door, contemplating whether he wanted to answer or not. The wind was picking up. Surely whoever was outside wanted to go home before the weather gets any worse. He allowed a minute to pass.

__

_Ding dong_

__

Finally, he rose from the comfort of his couch, muttering in annoyance. 

__

“Who in their right mind even wants to travel during this weather,” Lukas grumbled, disregarding all the times he had done this very thing himself. “You’re probably going to get snowed in here with me, so I hope you enjoy sarcastic bantering. Is it Mathias? It’s probably Mathias. Damn idiot, he probably found out about the beer Ludwig gave me last week and wants some now. Well, he’ll have to pry it from my cold, dead hands before he’ll get even a single shot of it.”

__

Lukas swung opened the door, preparing his nostrils to the signature stench of Mathias’ overapplied axe cologne. Instead, he was greeted with the strong smell of furniture polish, and Lukas could feel his heart stop.

__

There stood Berwald, in all his winter glory. His broad shoulders and pale blonde hair dusted with snowflakes. Normally Lukas would look up to gaze into his eyes, or kneel down to pet Hanatamago, who was currently yipping at his heels, but right now all his attention was focused on the bouquet of roses that the Swede held in his left hand.

__

_“Is this a dream? Is this really happening? What the fuck is this K-drama bs?”_ Lukas could feel his ears growing warm. He looked up, doing his best to maintain his neutral face. He could feel his heart racing as his hopes shot up. Against all logic, he waited for Berwald to break out in a passionate confession about his hidden undying love for him.

__

“Tino rejected me, may I come in?” Lukas could feel his stomach drop. He might as well have been slapped in the face right then and there. His gaze turned colder than the snow that was falling. 

__

“Are you serious right now?” Berwald nodded. Of course he was, when was he not serious. How could he be so stupid? As if Berwald was ever able to switch his focus from his head to the actual world and actually try to read the atmosphere. The damn idiot was more dense than the Dane! Bitter shock shook Lukas’s core. It took all of his willpower to not grab Hanatamago and slam the door to his sorry face.

__

That was the problem though: his sorry face. It was rare to ever see Berwald display his genuine emotions, and to have it staring right at him made Lukas’ heart constrict. The pain of rejection was all too clear in Berwald’s eyes right now. Even with the Swede doing his best to mask it, Lukas could tell.

__

“Sure, come in.”

__


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Berwald vent's about his unrequited love life while simultaneously attacking Lukas's own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was based on this post: http://otpprompts.tumblr.com/post/151606377346/imagine-person-a-has-a-crush-on-person-b-but

Fefe glared at the unexpected guests from her box in the corner. In all honesty Lukas wanted to do the same, but at this point he had to know the story behind this. This wasn’t the first time Berwald had came to Lukas after a failed attempt to hint at Tino, but it didn’t mean it was very often either. Besides, they were just small pokes. This time it seemed like a bigger attempt was made.

“I don’t know how you couldn’t see it coming,” started Lukas, as he began to prepare some coffee. “After all those hints you should have known that he wasn’t interested.” This was the opening line Tino and he had agreed on using. As Berwald was prone to venting to Lukas, Mathias would do the same with Tino. The two avoiders would often meet up once in awhile to discuss the woes of their pursuers, exchanging rants and eye rolls.

“I had hoped maybe he secretly did reciprocate the feeling,” sighed Berwald, setting the bundle of flowers on the counter. Lukas rolled his eyes.

“C’mon Berwald. Sure Tino might be shy, but he’s still very blunt. His wording comes out in a jumbled mess, but once you’ve processed it, the message is pretty clear. I would think you would know this better than anyone, or are you too lost in planning your future advances right after you hear the word ‘no’ that you’ve forgotten to listen to the rest of his explanation?”

Berwald glared at him in irritation. Lukas looked back, gaze challenging. He could tell he had touched a nerve, and so early into the conversation too. But hey, if it got the point across then Lukas couldn’t complain.

“Berwald, you’re better than this. Yes, Tino might be the light of your life, but it’s pointless to keep holding on if he doesn’t feel the same way. Don’t be so pathetic and just accept it.” The Norwegian glared, arms crossed.

“Look who’s talking,” he thought. The situation right now was far too ironic. Here Lukas was, an avid hater of hypocrisy, yet he was doing exactly that. 

Berwald looked at him, struggling to hide his pained look with a nonchalant one. Lukas stared at him and then his clenched hand, awkwardly placing his own over it and attempting to make a gentler expression. “He might appreciate you more if you do.”

“Doesn’t really make much of a difference does it,” Berwald scoffed.

At this point the coffee was done brewing. Lukas hastily got up before the moment could become any more uncomfortable than it already was and poured out the drink into two mugs. He walked over and offered a mug to Berwald. The Swede looked at the mug pensively, before sighing and accepting it, taking a quick swig. Lukas suppressed a smirk as Berwald wrinkled his nose from the bitterness of the coffee, grabbing a packet of sugar from the dispenser in front of him.

Berwald turned to look at Lukas, who was stirring the sugar into the coffee, before sighing and staring at his own.

“I envy you Lukas.”

“Why is that?” he asked, reaching for another packet of sugar.

“Nothing bothers you. You know what your task is and don’t let silly emotions get in the way, no matter how harsh it appears.” 

“Is that so?” Lukas said lightly, slowly setting his packet of sugar down.

“Yes. At first I thought you odd for it, but now I wish I was as passive on the inside as we both are on the outside. Sure you don’t experience the butterflies from love, but you don’t experience heartbreak either.”

_“But I do feel those, more than you possibly know.”_

“You don’t worry yourself over small things like someone’s smile, or their laugh, or a certain spark in their eyes, so you don’t care if it’s not because of you.”

_“But I do care, so much.”_

Berwald finally turned to look at him, sadness in his eyes. Lukas looked back, trying hard to hide the desperation in his own.

“You just don’t know how badly it hurts to love someone, even over the smallest things, with all your heart, only for them to not feel the same way.”

Even though he knew it was coming, Lukas could still feel his stomach churn with unpleasant surprise. How pathetic. Even after this entire conversation, he still dared to hope for something else to come out of it. An outcome that catered to his desires. An outcome where Berwald would love him and where he wasn’t so pitiful. But no, Berwald still loved Tino and he was still left to wither away with these stupid unrequited feelings.

He smiled softly and went back to stirring his coffee. “No, I guess I don’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Berwald. If only you knew :))


End file.
